There are people in this world who, by position or gift, are in the place to be what I call "tyrants.'" Tyrants, that is, because they are able to lay down the law and be followed. Their tyranny may have negative results, or it may have positive results. It may be by force of personality. It may be because they are the priest in charge or the bishop. Think of Paul and his churches.
Interestingly enough, we don't actually know what the churches Paul wrote to did with his letters. We know that the letters were passed around. But we don't know if they followed them or if he would have written more if he hadn't died in Rome. What we do know is that Paul had very specific ideas and had no problem laying them down as the be all and end all of an argument. Did anyone have the guts to stand up to him and say, "Yes, but..."? We don't know. We do know he held his ideas strongly and had the force of personality and the authority to make them stick.
Paul stayed "only" two years to teach, encourage, exhort, and entrust the sacraments and Gospel to the local elders/leaders. Then he left. If he had had email we would not have his letters, but I'm sure his little churches would have been happier. They could have contacted him more and gotten a better feel for what was expected of them.
Churches, congregations in crisis mode often need an outside authority to say "You Will Do This." Often that authority is the local Bishop. Sometimes it is a local priest or lay leader. However, when the crisis is passed and team work and team leadership is established, the authority figure, who is used to working on her own, suddenly finds she has been given the boot. She is no longer in charge, no one is paying attention to her, or worse yet she is dis-invited from team and planning meetings.
One hopes and prays that such individuals will have the grace to say, with John the Baptist, "they must increase, I must decrease," and step out of the way. But often what happens is a power struggle that can be very destructive. One way is for the team and the former leader to struggle back and forth on "who is in charge" and confuse the congregation. Another way is for the team to submit every decision to the former leader for a stamp of approval or a veto.
Total Ministry is gifts based, and the team's job is to identify and train gifts in others. And perhaps someone's gift is to be a tyrant, a necessary tyrant. Someone who, like Paul, can lay down the law and be followed. But it is also a gift to step out of the way.
The person who is used to being "in charge" can step back to being the mentor, cheerleader, and safety net. These positions are important as a congregation matures in its team leadership and gifts building. Just as surely as a young adult starting out in the world needs a safety net of parents and friends, congregations on their first go-round with a ministry team need a safety net.
Being a loving tyrant and knowing when to step back truly is a gift. For Paul, it meant leaving but staying in touch. For those of us who tend to become tyrants or have a gift of being a loving tyrant, may we have the grace to step back when needed and the gentleness to come back in when called.